It’s been proven that (in-person); non-verbal cues make up the majority of communication. The words you use only make up a small percentage of what people are hearing from you. Online it’s a different ballgame. All we have are our words.

People skills (online and in-person) are some of the greatest assets an entrepreneur can have. As a blogger and entrepreneur it’s vital for you to have good people skills, in order to, network with other bloggers, listen and respond to comments and feedback, and convey your mission in a clear way.

If you want to become a more likable blogger, keep reading. I’m going to show you seven ways to have better people skills online. By practicing these tips, you’ll enjoy the benefits of increased friendships, subscribers, traffic, and profits.

1) Become interested in your visitors and other bloggers

Obviously, you want people to be interested in what you have to say. So it makes sense that others want the same. Whether it’s someone who left you a new comment, or another blogger, people will like and trust you much more if you take a genuine interest in their lives.

Sure, blogging is about getting your message out to as many people as possible, but it also serves a greater purpose of building quality relationships with like-minded individuals. Make an effort to become interested in other people, in person, and online.

2) Use your online smile

No, I’m not suggesting you overuse the smiley in order to appear friendlier. I’m talking about the tone you write in.

In person, a smile is golden to make you more likable. Even over the phone, people can literally, “hear your smile” by the way it changes your tone of voice.

Online it’s more difficult to convey that you are a happy, nice, likable, and friendly person, unless you make an effort to keep your writing positive and upbeat. People like positive messages. For example, I could say, “You shouldn’t use a negative tone in your writing, because people won’t like you very much”. But it may be better to say, “You should use a positive tone in your writing, because people will like you much more.”

Remember, keep it positive, and exercise your online smile.

3) Use the persons name whenever possible

This is equally, if not more important, in person. But it is much easier online, since you can see the other person’s name in the comment section or on his or her blog. People like to hear their name used in conversation. Make an effort to use the person’s name any appropriate chance you get.

In the comments section you can use “@name” to address the person. If you refer to another bloggers article you can link to it by saying something like “Kevin Givens (Self Improvement for Entrepreneurs) has a great new article about being a more likable blogger”, as opposed to, “I read this great article on being a more likable blogger”. While I would sincerely appreciate either link, I would feel more honored to have my name mentioned.

Calling the other person by name gives them the sense that you find them important. This will cause them to appreciate your response, advice, and opinion that much more.

4) Be a good listener

Bloggers open their selves up to criticism on a regular basis. Nevertheless, remember all feedback, even negative, is positive. Wait, did I just say negative is positive? That’s right; it’s good for your blog and humbling to your ego (unless it’s spam talking about how small your …. never mind).

Take the opportunity to listen to what others say. Whether it’s criticism, compliments, or a question, try to understand the person’s point of view and respond appropriately.

5) Talk about the other person’s interests

This goes hand-in-hand with #1 (becoming interested in your visitors and other bloggers). Get to know and build relationships with others. Instead of being concerned about what’s in it for you, take the opportunity to get to know what makes others tick. Talk to them about their goals, dreams, passions, and other interests. When people feel that you honestly care about their interests, they will take an interest in you.

6) Make people feel important

People love to feel important. It’s just how we’re built. Take the time and effort to make your visitors and fellow bloggers feel special. One way to do this is to email each first-time commenter personally. It will make them feel valuable and important, and possibly turn a first time visitor, into a lifelong reader. Ask for their opinions and advice, link to them without being asked, give them a free review, or just send them a compliment about the hard work they’ve done.

When you make others feel important, they will see you as a friend and ally.

7) Show sincere appreciation

As a blogger, your loyal readers are your livelihood. Make sure you let them know you appreciate them by providing quality content to enhance their lives. You can also do some fun things, like giveaways, to show your appreciation.

Maybe another blogger is putting out content that has helped in some big way. If you can, donate a few bucks to him/her. If they don’t have a donation button, look for products or services they recommend and click their affiliate link. I’m not saying you need to purchase something you don’t need, but if they are writing about a product that you are going to buy anyway, show your appreciation by clicking their link.

You can also show your appreciation by adding a quality article to Digg, StumbleUpon, or other social bookmarkting site. At the very minimum, you should let them know how much you appreciate their work in a comment or personal email.

Will you become a more likable blogger?

You can (and should) start putting these suggestions to work immediately on your own blog. It may take considerable effort for some to become a more likable blogger,but trust me, it will be well worth the effort. The most successful blogs practice most, if not all, of the tips I outlined. By practicing my 7 tips to have better people skills online, you will reap the rewards of more quality relationships, loyal fans, and income.

What are your suggestions for becoming a more likable blogger? Are you practicing any or all of these tips with success?

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Personally, I wish I would have found these years ago while I was still in High School. But one thing is for sure, I’m putting them to use now, and you should too.

Building self confidence and overcoming shyness is not as difficult as you’d think

I was surprised when I first came across many of these self confidence building tips. Although you are still going to have to work to overcome shyness and build your confidence, there is absolutely no reason you can’t use the following techniques to succeed.

1. Sit up front, not in the back - Are you someone who scrambles for a back seat at school, in meetings, and at church? I know I was. Don’t feel bad, a lot of people do this so they don’t draw attention to themselves. From now on, make a rule of sitting as close to the front as possible.
2. Make eye contact – I know this can be hard, but by forcing yourself to make eye contact you say “I’m honest, unafraid, and confident”. You’ll not only gain self confidence by practicing this, you’ll gain others’ confidence as well.
3. Don’t compare yourself to others, instead, compare yourself to your own previous results – I observed this in my wife’s elementary classroom. She told me how she motivates the children by having them strive to beat their own personal best, not by beating other children. If one child reads 120 words per minute, it’s unrealistic for a child that only reads 40 to be compared to the other child. That would result in less self confidence and damage to their self esteem. Similarly, if I rated my progress on this blog by one of the top blogs with thousands of readers, I’d be sadly disappointed. Instead, I see that a few weeks ago I didn’t even have this site really going, and now several people are finding and reading it, which is a tremendous self confidence boost!
4. Walk faster with your head held high – Psychologists tell us that your posture and movement are directly related to your self image, your work, and others around you. You can easily change those attitudes just by walking faster, with better posture, and your head held high. I’m not talking about being arrogant either. I’m talking about walking and acting with a sense of purpose and intensity. Just try it and you’ll feel a new sense of self confidence.
5. Speak up – This is a challenging one. But it’s necessary if you want to truly improve your self confidence and overcome shyness. Most people fail to speak up because they are worried about what others will think. Trust me, if you have something to say, people will listen. Each time you fail to speak up you damage your self confidence a little more. Alternatively, every time you successfully speak your mind, your confidence increases. This is also much easier if you practice sitting up front!
6. Smile on purpose – Although I’ve practiced walking confidently with my head up, I didn’t always practice smiling a lot. In one corporate job I moved departments and became good friends with one girl who commented “I used to see you walking and thought you were mean and in some upper-management job because you never smiled”. Now I try to smile frequently. It not only makes you more confident, it diffuses any opposition, and makes you more likable.
7. Become interested in other people – If are truly interested in other people, you will instantly become more likable, more social, and more confident. I’ve heard individuals say “I hate other people”. These same people seem to always live more depressed and angry lives, without confidence, and unable to build solid relationships. Dedicate yourself to loving people and getting to know them. This principle is also the key to making friends. When you’re interested in others they will take an interest in you.

These are some quick easy tips for building self confidence and I really hope you found something here you can apply to your own life. It takes time and effort to change so don’t feel discouraged if you aren’t a new person overnight.

If you’re really shy and lacking self confidence, try implementing just one suggestion per week and make a sincere effort to focus on that one technique. Think of it as an experiment, if you try these tips and they don’t work, you haven’t lost anything. If they do work, you’ll be one step closer to the happy, confident, and successful person you dream of being.

I’d love to hear your feedback about building self confidence and overcoming shyness

Have your own tip or story about overcoming shyness and building self confidence? Maybe you have a disagreement or something positive to say about this article. If so, practice #5 Speak up by posting a comment below!

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As I type this very article, I am interrupted every minute or so by the sounds of stomping from the family in the apartment above us.

Apparently, when these apartments were repaired after Hurricane Katrina, the contractors did not insulate well at all. As a result, we can hear almost everything that goes on upstairs. It’s hard not to get frustrated at the family itself.

Today, I’ll share with you a simple approach to stop fights, arguments, and frustrations before they begin. A secret I recently discovered in a fabulous book I’m reading. If implemented properly, this tip could potentially salvage relationships, return peace and happiness to your home, and help you become happier and less stressed.

The source of most anger and frustration

Have you ever given thought to just how arguments and fights begin? The majority of the time it all starts over something really petty. Here’s an example of a simple comment escalating in our own household.

Charlene:

I wish you’d learn to pick your clothes up off the floor

Me:

I will when you start cooking

Charlene:

I work on my feet all day long while you lay on the couch with the computer and the chihuahua and now you want me to cook every night!

Now, I feel insulted, she feels insulted, and the chihuahua is running for cover. If the argument is really good we might even start insulting each others’ mother.

So what’s the big secret to diffusing the situation before it gets carried away? The trick is not to worry about the unimportant things.

Don’t sweat the small stuff..

Undoubtedly, you’ve heard that phrase before. There are countless books with the same title. All meant to encourage you to be more positive and not to worry about the small things that make up a large amount of our anger and frustration.

I’ve only browsed through those books briefly, but I did find a similar answer to life’s frustrations in the book The Magic of Thinking Big by Dr. David Schwartz. He suggests the following technique to deal with anger, arguments, and frustrations:

before complaining or accusing or reprimanding someone or launching a counterattack in self-defense, ask yourself, “Is is really important?”

Whether it’s with a spouse, child, family member, stranger, or co-worker, the next time you feel like becoming angry, ask yourself, “Is is really important?” Chances are that it’s not and you’ll be able to forget about the frustration and move on. You’ll feel a newfound ownership over your emotions.

Try it and see. The next time your son fails to clean his room, that car cuts you off in traffic, or your spouse makes an inconsiderate comment, decide if it’s really worth getting angry about. I guarantee if you implement this technique you will eliminate most arguments and frustrations before they get out of hand.

Have any anger management tips and techniques of your own? Please share them with other visitors by commenting below.

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Let me start by saying that you are not alone in your search for answers. All of us ask the same question at some point, if not multiple times, during our lives.

Anne Frank said

We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same.

Well, I’m here to tell you that happiness is NOT some big mystery. There have been people studying “what makes people happy” for decades. Luckily, they’ve done the research so all we have to do is apply their answers to our own lives.

In this article, you’ll learn the answer to “What is happiness?”. You’ll also get my tips on being happy, and the areas to work on in your own life to find true happiness. At the end of this article, I have an awesome exercise that will help you apply what you’ve learned by using your imagination.

What is happiness anyway?

Let’s start by getting a solid definition and explanation of “what is happiness?” Dictionary.com (awesome site) defines happiness as ” the quality or state of being happy.”

AH HAH! Now I’ve got it all figured out! Somehow I knew I’d find a definition of happiness like that.

They also define happiness as a “state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.” Now, isn’t that better? So happiness ranges from being content with your life to being extremely joyful about it. Now let’s look at seven ways that you can work on happiness in your own life.

Tips on being happy

1. Develop peace of mind - This is, quite possibly, the largest part of finding true happiness. Peace of mind acts as a compass that tells you if what you’re doing is working for you.Put simply, you experience peace of mind when you free yourself from negative emotions such as, guilt, anger, doubt, fear, resentment, and worry. Your goal in this area should be to constantly examine, and then eliminate the negative emotions you find in your own life.
2. Strive for good health - Imagine yourself as perfectly healthy. Good health is another huge key to achieving true happiness.You become what you think and imagine. Imagine yourself eating the right things, exercising, and being happy when you look in the mirror.
3. Cultivate quality personal relationships - A true measure of your personality is the loving and intimate relationships you have. If you are involved in relationships you know are unhealthy, it’s time to make a change.Strive to be around people who love you, build you up, and whom you look up to.
4. Seek financial freedom – Having financial freedom means not worrying about money constantly, like most people do. Financial problems, in addition to people problems, account for most of the issues that keep you from achieving peace of mind and true happiness.Get on a plan, out of debt, and start today seeking financial freedom.
5. Establish worthy goals and dreams - This is about living on purpose. You need a commitment to something greater than yourself if you want to find happiness.Start thinking about how you can use your God-given talents, personality, and skills to make the world a better place.
6. Become self-aware – You need to take the time to examine your past experiences in order to fully understand your current thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.You must learn to forgive others and embrace all the experiences, good and bad, that have shaped who you are today. Only then can you move forward to becoming the best you possible.
7. Achieve personal fulfillment - This is what happens when you start becoming the person you’ve imagined in these previous areas.When you start living a life on purpose, free from negative emotions, financially free, and involved in positive relationships, you’ll really start to find true happiness.

Take action! What would true happiness look like to you?

STEP 1: Write down a vision of your ideal or perfect life. What I did was buy a small binder just for exercises like this. I can type and revise, print, hole-punch, and put them in the binder for review later.

You can also do some other cool things with your binder. Like insert a calendar for planning, and loose-leaf paper for notes and brainstorming.

Use the “print this post” link at the top of this article to save and review regularly.

STEP 2: Go deep into your imagination to design every aspect of your perfect life. It’s not important how you’ll get there. What’s important here is determining what happiness and success mean to you.

After all, how can you ever be happy if you don’t know what you truly want out of life?

STEP 3: Answer the following questions in your article. The more detailed the better. (You can answer them one by one, or do something more creative like an obituary, award acceptance speech, or a speech at a future birthday celebration like I did)

• If you had complete peace of mind in your life what would you be doing? Where would you work, live, spend your free time? Who would be there?
• What would perfect health look like to you? What would you look like and feel like? How much would you weigh? What would you eat?
• What would the perfect relationship look like to you?
• What would life be like if you achieved all your financial goals? How much money would it take do live how you want to live?
• What activities give you the greatest sense of meaning and purpose? In what ways could you use your talents, time, and touch, to make the world a better place?
• What lessons can you learn from past experiences to shape your ideal future?

I’d love to hear your own “ideal life” story. If you’re comfortable sharing, please use the comments below.

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I can almost guarantee that other successful entrepreneurs, internet business owners, and first generation millionaires would all say they practice the success principles I’m about to discuss.

Success Principle #1: Become a lifelong learner

The great news is, if you’re reading this article about success principles, you are probably already a lifelong learner. Basically, you want to be completely open to new ideas and principles that may present themselves to you.

Knowledge is definitely great, but the action it leads you to take is what is really powerful. I started to realize and practice this principle of success right out of high school.

I was deeply in debt and never learned the proper way to handle money. A friend told me about Dave Ramsey, a Christian Financial Counselor, radio talk show host, and author of Financial Peace Revisited.

Had I refused to listen to, or read his material, I never would have changed my way of thinking about money and debt. Instead, I read his book in two days and became a faithful listener of his radio program.

I got on a financial plan, paid off thousands in debt in less than a year, and paid cash for our wedding and honeymoon in the Bahamas.

If you want to know about something, read a book, go to a workshop or seminar, or find a website dedicated to the subject. Successful people never stop learning and growing as individuals.

• Take Action! – Dedicate RIGHT NOW to becoming a lifelong learner and start by finishing this article

Success Principle #2: Begin with the end in mind

This principle deals with having a clear and concise picture of your goals and dreams. What do you want out of life? Your business? Your relationships?

If you want to be involved in Internet business, this means planning your Internet business empire. Or it may mean mapping out your career goals.

Take the time to plan out your business and life. A cool exercise I recommend is to write out what your ideal life would look like 10, 20, 30, years down-the-road.

Some people do this by writing out there own obituary. That idea seemed a little too morbid for me. So I wrote out an imagined speech at my 50th birthday celebration which highlights my achievements.

Once you’ve got a good idea of what success and fulfillment in your life would mean, you can work backwards on more bite-sized goals to get you there. It’s also to important to try and read over your “ideal life” regularly to make sure your goals are working towards that end.

Also, as your values and beliefs change, so may your dreams and ideas about success and happiness. That’s o.k., just change your version of the ideal life to reflect your new dreams.

• Take Action! – After you read this, set aside time to write out your own Ideal Life speech

Success Principle #3: Don’t be afraid to fail

This is one of those “easier said, than done” type principles. Our fears are shaped by our past experiences and beliefs. Most of these fears come from early childhood, when we are most influenced.

Even school perpetuates the idea of the “fear of failure”. We learn that failure is bad! If you fail you are not smart and are a disappointment. Maybe growing up you tried something new and were ridiculed by your peers because you weren’t the best.

I experienced a lot of that sort of ridicule growing up for being a “nerd”. I did well in school pretty easily, but tried too hard to “fit-in” and got made fun of for the way I looked and dressed. Although I’ve always loved sports and was decent at most I tried, the fear of failure kept me from joining any teams in school.

When you are criticized as a child you start to criticize yourself. You may tell yourself “I’m not good enough” when thinking about a new business, relationship, or hobby you desire to excel at.

Brian Tracy in his fabulous book Maximum Achievement calls the fear of failure “the greatest single obstacle to success in adult life”.

• Take Action! – Here are a few ideas to help you overcome the fear of failure

1. Remove the words “I can’t” from your vocabulary right now
2. Fail Fast - You are going to fail sometimes. Do so quickly, learn from the failure, and move forward
3. Write down at least two instances growing up where the fear of failure kept you from doing something like approaching a member of the opposite sex, joining a club or organization, or participating in a hobby like sports
4. Start a personal blog to express your views and ideas about the things that matter to you. You can check for your own personal domain name at Godaddy.com or you can get a free blog at Blogger.com

Remember, failure is simply a compass to guide you in a new direction. Thomas Edison when asked about his thousands of failed inventions said “I have not failed 10,000 times. I have successfully found 10,000 ways that will not work.”

Now I’d like to hear from you

How have you used these success principles in your own life or business? Or do you have another success principle that you’ve adopted and would like to share?

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